Controversial Topic Assignment.
Why I Luv My SUV.
Byline: Walter Kirn I know bad for my shady 97 Toyota Land Cruiser. All it ever wanted to do was hang me--by blasting through snowdrifts, fording flooded driveways and pulling my wifes VW off of ditches--and in all these chores, it has succeeded splendidly, yet certain people despise it. They hate its kind. They accuse my Toyota and its beefy brethren of being wasteful, anti-social, dangerous and fifty-fifty of abetting terrorism. Id alike to think that the critics hostility, like other forms of bigotry, stems from ignorance--because they simply dont fare my vehicle or the rugged Montana terrain it ranges over. But I sense that their anger has deeper roots. Some people just feel incomplete without an enemy, and as it grows increasingly unacceptable to show fanaticism toward any group of humans, it becomes more tempting to condemn inanimate objects. They cant defend themselves. They cant hire lawyers or take out intact-page ads. So whether the butt of the latest self-righteous crusade is a cell phone, a double cheeseburger or a bottle of malt liquor, it has no choice but to sit at that place and take its beating. As the owner of an SUV, I feel obligated(predicate) to speak up for my poor vehicle--and for myself, since I feel beaten(a) up too.
Nothing takes the pleasure out of driving like the suspicion that at every four-way stop, someone in a fuel-efficient compact is sneering at my moral deficiencies. I faculty as well be wearing a ruby-red letter (three of them, actually). I want to scream, But I give-up the ghost on a dirt road! I engender a farm! See all the mud on my fenders! I need this rig! Experience, though, makes me doubt that such protests would do any good. When I was a...
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